Farewell Talk

President Ezra Taft Benson said-

“Men and women who turn their lives over to God will discover that He can make a lot more out of their lives than they can. He will deepen their joys, expand their vision, quicken their minds, strengthen their muscles, lift their spirits, multiply their blessings, increase their opportunities, comfort their souls, raise up friends, and pour out peace.”

Having faith in the Lord’s plan for us can be a difficult task and that’s something that became more evident to me through this last year than it ever has before.

Growing up my plan was to go to college, get married, and have lots of babies. As far as I was concerned, a mission was not in my future. Once graduated I decided to not go to BYU and attended a different college instead. Things didn’t end up working out there and I then decided to move home and reapply to BYU. After lots of prayer I decided to move down to Utah to start working before I began school. In October, I found out that I was not reaccepted to BYU and was extremely devastated. I thought to myself with frustration why would I feel that I should move down here if the Lord knew I wouldn’t be accepted to BYU? I finally told myself that everything happens for a reason and that if I was not accepted to BYU, then that obviously meant I was not supposed to attend there at this time. I decided to make the best of the situation and try to attend Utah Valley but because of finances, that too was not going to happen. I felt utterly lost and hopeless.

I was trying my hardest to be obedient and do what I thought was best for me, yet I continued hitting dead ends. My faith was being tested as I felt my hard work and obedience was going unnoticed by the Lord, although I know that is never the case. The Lord is always mindful of us and our needs. One day I had the thought pop into my mind “maybe I should serve a mission.” I was completely caught off guard. I quickly thought of all the reasons as to why I didn't want to do that and pushed the idea aside.  Although I tried to ignore it, the thought kept pressing on my mind so I began to ponder it. Maybe the reason all those doors had been closed for me was because the Lord was planning to open a new one that I hadn't expected. I found a talk by Richard G. Scott talking about having faith in our Lord. He says-

“I testify that when the Lord closes one important door in your life, He shows His continuing love and compassion by opening many other compensating doors through your exercise of faith.”

If I wanted to serve a mission I needed to sell my apartment contract and move back home to begin saving. One night I prayed to my heavenly father and asked that if I was supposed to serve a mission, my apartment contract would sell so that I would know and be able to move home. The very next morning I received a phone call from a girl who bought my contract on the spot. I was shocked.  It’s not often we get answers that are so straight forward. I moved home within 2 weeks and felt I had my answer that yes, I needed to serve a mission. Despite that obvious answer I still felt very unsure of my personal capability of serving a mission and was nervous to leave. I was studying my scriptures one night and came across (Ether 12:27)           
                                                                                  
"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

I decided I needed to stop doubting myself because those self-doubts come for Satan. Our loving Heavenly Father has faith in us and KNOWS what we are capable of becoming with HIS help. My home teacher at the time gave me a blessing that said to have faith in my Heavenly Father’s plan for me and that really hit me. I realized I was completely focusing on my own will and what I wanted. I had had so many small feelings of peace and comfort when thinking about a mission but I forgot about those and would replace them with worry and more selfish reasons to not serve. Going back to Richard G. Scotts talk He says-

“Your willingness to accept the will of the Father will not change what in His wisdom He has chosen to do. However, it will certainly change the effect of those decisions on you personally. That evidence of the proper exercise of agency allows His decisions to produce far greater blessings in your life. I have found that because of our Father’s desire for us to grow, He may give us gentle, almost imperceptible promptings that, if we are willing to accept without complaint, He will enlarge to become a very clear indication of His will. This enlightenment comes because of our faith and our willingness to do what He asks even though we would desire something else.”

I realized that Heavenly Father was waiting for me to put my faith in him and show him that I was willing to accept his will for me even though I might have wanted something else. He was waiting for me to use my agency to decide. In (D&C 9:8-9) it says-

"But, behold, I say unto you that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. But if it be not right you shall have no such feeling, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write that which is sacred save it be given you from me."

If we are trying to do the Lord’s will and constantly counseling with him about our decisions, he will give us answers so that we know our decisions we have made are right. I met with the bishop and decided I wanted to start my paperwork for my mission. I felt such an overwhelming peace when I made the decision. I felt that literal burning in my bosom that is talking about in D&C 9 confirming to me that was exactly what the Lord had been waiting for. I began my paperwork, had my doctor’s appointments, and started saving my money. As I finally accepted the Lord’s plan for me and humbled myself he truly did “multiply my blessings, increase my opportunities, and comfort my soul…” just as Ezra Taft Benson said in the opening quote I read. I was blessed with a higher paying job and had many other small blessings come about to aid me through the process. Whenever I had doubts and expressed them to the Lord he comforted me constantly and calmed my fears.

 Although I could feel the support of my Heavenly Father I still would have moments of struggle. One scripture story that was often a great source of strength for me was the story of Nephi. Nephi’s Father, Lehi, had a vision foreseeing the destruction of Jerusalem because of their wickedness. He was instructed to take his family and depart into the wilderness. He and his family had to exercise great faith in the Lord to leave their home and all that they had to go into the wilderness because the Lord had asked them to. Even after doing as the Lord asked, Nephi and Lehi still faced much opposition after leaving. The Lord has never
said we do as he commands it will be easy but that it will be worth it.  I’ve always loved (1^st Nephi 3:7) where it says- 

"And it came to pass that I, Nephi, said unto my Father: I will go and do the thing which the Lord hath commanded for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men save he shall prepare a way that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them."

If the Lord has asked us to do something, He keeps His promises and will always provide a way for us. He may let us go through trials, but will not fail us. Richard G. Scott said-

“To recognize the hand of the Lord in your life and to accept His will without complaint is a beginning. That decision does not immediately eliminate the struggles that will come for your growth. But I witness that it is the best way there is for you to find strength and understanding. It will free you from the dead ends of your own reasoning. It will allow your life to become a productive, meaningful experience, when otherwise you may not know how to go on.”

The day finally came and my mission call arrived. There are really no words to adequately express the feelings of opening a mission call. I felt the most overwhelming feeling that I truly had been called to a place that the Savior prepared for me. I felt an immediate love for the people of Spain and such a strong desire to serve them with all my heart, might, and strength. I have such a strong testimony of having faith in the Lord and his plan for us. As I have humbled myself before him I've felt myself grow closer to him, my love for others has increased, and my desire to serve his children has multiplied. In (Mosiah 2:17) it says-

"And behold I tell ye these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God."

Preparing for my mission has already brought me so many blessings and helped me grow an incredible amount. I can’t imagine all that the Lord has is in store for me in the mission field. I KNOW that our Heavenly Father truly has a plan for each and every one us that is so much greater than the plan we have for ourselves. He wants us to have eternal happiness and will guide us to it if we simply put our faith in Him. There’s nothing else I’d rather be doing right now than serving my Heavenly Father and his children by sharing with them the gospel I have been blessed to have the knowledge of my whole life.